You Were Mine
by PeculiarMaleficent
Summary: The kids are still young and you can't let anything to ruin their happiness. He's two and She's four, they adore your wife so much. You love her too but how can you tell them that she changed her mind? Should you let go or stay and be that masochist that you are and wait for her to come around? *inspired from the song You Were Mine by Dixie Chicks (on hiatus)
1. Broken Promises and Secret Love Affairs

**I had this story in mind a couple of days ago **** because of the song "You Were Mine" by Avril Lavigne (originally by Dixie Chicks) git stuck in my mind ****and thought why not pursue it... but now, I'm not really sure if this is a good idea. This may suck. People might think that this is rubbish.**

**I wrote it during my 5 hours bus ride while listening to the song over and over.. **

**So, give it a try maybe?**

**and all mistakes are mine.. didn't really checked it at all. **

* * *

_He's two and she's four_

_And you know they adore you_

_So how can I tell them_

_You've changed your mind_

_- You Were Mine by Dixie Chicks_

* * *

"Mami?"

"Yes honey?"

"Where is Mommy?"

"She's working honey." Lie. Another lie flew from Santana Lopez's mouth, but what can she do? It is not like she can tell her daughter that her mom is with someone else, in someone else's bed. Her wife's shift at work finishes at around 3:00 pm and if she would extend her time a bit she'll be home by 6:00 and it is already 8:30 and not a glimpse of her was seen.

She was in the kitchen, cleaning, when Eli came bouncing in asking where her mom was. Five questions, and she's been answering it with lies. She doesn't know how did this happen, how all of a sudden her loving wife became a cheating whore.

She loves her wife so much that all she can do was tolerate her actions. You can call her a masochist but she won't care... she just want the kids to have a happy family even if it was based on a lie.

"Honey, why don't you go to sleep and I can wait for your mommy here." She said. Another lie. She stopped waiting for her wife whenever she comes home early. Ever since she found out of her wife's infidelity she can't help but feel reproach towards her.

"But she promised me that she will read for me today." Eli replied pouting, which only means her child is not happy and will not be persuade.

"Elise honey, why don't you sit with me on the couch and I can read you something while waiting for your mommy, is that okay?" She just nodded and Santana led her to the couch in the living room. She hands Santana her Snow White book to read it. This has been Eli's favourite ever since her mom read it to her when she was around three. Funny enough, she wasn't fascinated with Snow White, she is more interested with the Evil Queen, always asking different questions to either her Mommy or Mami (always asking either her Mommy or Mami, questions pertaining to the malevolent villain. One of the questions that peaked Santana's interest was: _"Mami do you think Evil Queen lost her true love that's why she became evil? I don't want you to lose mommy.. I don't want to see you become the Evil Queen._" It is both sad and ironic at the same time, because because of what is presently happening to them. An innocent question with a big impact on her.

Santana knew but her wife doesn't know that she knew.

It wasn't after a few minutes of reading when she heard a faint snore from the little bundle of joy on her lap. Elise is only four but the way she conveys her thoughts and the way she sees and understands things is beyond what is expected of a four year old. She might not understand everything but once you explain it to her she will be able to grasp the concept of things eventually. She was a God's gift for her family, They were newlyweds when they tried the insemination and thank goodness for holy heavens they had a positive news. It wasn't 'til another two years when they decided to try and have a baby again, this time her wife was the one to carry it. It was after a couple of weeks when they discovered that Alexander will be another God's gift for them. It was a moment of bliss ever since her daughter and son was born and she promised that she will do everything so that the little kids will have a perfect family. Something that she never had. Call her a martyr but she is doing everything she can to maintain the relationship. She is willing to hold on to the idea of happiness by a thread for the sake of her kids. She doesn't want anything to make them feel as if they are being disowned or that they are living in a miserable world. All Santana wants is to give them a world full of love even if it would take her to look like a fool. As she would always say— "All for the kids." She promised to herself that no matter how she's in deep shit right now, she will do anything and everything just to give the kids happiness and love.

* * *

_It was in the middle of the night when she first learned about the other's infidelity. They just finished making love, or rather, her wife fucking her. Maybe the other woman thought that she had fallen asleep, so her wife decided to answer the call._

_"She's sleeping." Hah! if only she knew. She just stayed there rigid and tried to even out her breathing to make it look like as if she was in deep slumber._

_"I know. I miss you too. I miss feeling your arms on my body. You, devouring me senselessly. You making me feel insane. I miss feeling your cock inside of me filling me with your cum. Do you want me to continue? Yes, I am. I am wet just for you honey. I really need you now. I wish I could be there with you but you know we can't do that right now…"_

_The talk goes on and while talking; her wife was brushing her hair as if nothing that she says matters. The brushing of hair stopped and she could feel the bed slightly rocking and she knew that her wife was fucking herself with the other person telling her the words that she doesn't even want to talk about._

_And her wife moaned the name of the guy she was talking to. And it hurts, it hurts so badly, that she doesn't know what to do or what to think. It is a slap on the face that her wife wasn't even ashamed of what she was doing. She stopped listening. All she could focus on was the feeling of being betrayed by the person she promised to love all her life. Tears were streaming down her face but she doesn't have the courage to wipe it, fearing that if her wife knew that she was listening, she might run away from her forever._

_It was then when her wife stopped panting that she was able to compose herself._

_"I love you." her wife mutters, and what hurts the most is that she doesn't even know if it is for her or the bastard she's talking to... even if a brief kiss was placed on her temple and she spooned her after._

* * *

Now, all she needs to do is to know what the other person looks like and since when it all started.

Santana wipes the tears that were unconsciously streaming down her face. People might think that she is stupid for staying with her wife even if she knew that her wife doesn't want or love her anymore. Yes, they still have sex. Sex, fucking not love making. There is a difference.

She loves her wife but she loves her kids more and she can't sacrifice the happiness of their kids just to be free from the grasp of a tainted love. And she just really love her wife so much that she can't find a reason to let go even if her wife already found her so called, "true love."

Her trance was broken when the door opened, revealing her wife sporting an I-had-sex-and-it's-incredible glow. She just stared at her wife as she walked in silently and she haven't noticed them yet. And when she did, to say she was surprised is an understatement.

"W-what are you doing here?" She stammered.

"Waiting for you." Santana replied as if it is the most obvious thing to be doing.

"But, you haven't been doing that.." She hesitated.

"Well yeah, but Elise wanted to wait for you because you promised her that you would read to her and Alex tonight." Santana replied curtly.

"I—" She wanted to apologize but Santana cut her off.

"Save it, it is not to me, you should apologize to." And with that Santana stood carrying her daughter towards her room but her wife stopped her.

"Santana… I was—"

Santana shakes her head and let out a sigh..

"Next time, just don't promise anything to our kids that you can't keep. It's not good that you would put hope on them and just crush it afterwards. We clear Brittany?"

* * *

**So, what do you think? Should I continue it?**


	2. Living Nightmare

**Oh my gosh! Thank you for all the reviews, follows, and favourites! I wish I could give you all a hug.. but *virtual hug* is okay too right? *HUGS***

**Yes! I will continue this story.. **

**AND.. Thank You soo much again guys! Like really! REALLY! (Annoying right?! haha)**

**anyways, here's the new chapter! :) YAY!**

* * *

"Sweet dreams baby." Santana muttered silently whilst kissing her daughter on the forehead.

As she was about to close the door of her daughter's room, she heard a faint call from the little girl. Santana immediately went to her daughter's side and asked her if she had a bad dream. Elise shook her head.

"What is it then baby?" Santana asked.

The 4-year old kid just snuggled to her Mami. Santana instinctively combed her daughter's hair with her own her fingers.

"Mommy." The little girl muttered groggily. Poor little thing, she had been expecting Brittany all night and it is disappointing to see their bundle of joy with a disheartened look marring her beautiful face.

"She's in the room baby. Mommy is really tired from work that's why she wasn't able to read something to you." She lied again. Elise just snuggled further to her mom and nodded signaling that she was accepting her Mami's reply.

"I miss Mommy."

Santana looked at her daughter. Her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pressed together as tears started building up, threatening to fall at any moment. The little girl reminds her of herself waiting every night for the person she loves to love her again. All of the hopes and expectation were crushed, the moment her wife entered the room with a distinguishable smell of a man's perfume.

Santana wiped the tears that suddenly overwhelmed her eyes. She made a promised to herself that she would stop crying if it is about her wife but she can't help it. She's too weak for her own good. Shutting her thoughts, she leaned a bit to her child who smiled when she kissed her forehead again. "I miss her too, honey." She was about to say something when she stopped momentarily after realizing what she had said. She closed her eyes and composed herself before speaking to her child once again.

"Now, why don't you go to sleep and I will stay here with you to keep you away from bad dreams. Is that okay? Elise nodded and Santana continuously combing her daughter's hair.

'_bad dreams huh?'_She thought. Santana finds it ironic that she can take away the bad dreams that her kids have but her own kept on haunting her every night.

It started when she found out about the cheating.

* * *

_It was a week after she learned about the infidelity, when it all started. It was vivid that it would leave her a crying mess. Every night it would get so much worst and she can't do anything but stay awake all night, praying to God that these dreams would stop._

_There was one time when Quinn visited the kids, Brittany went out of town for a conference with fellow teachers and she was left with the kids. She asked Q to accompany them since she knew that she is not functioning well because of what she had learned._

"_You look like shit." Quinn said. Santana just rolled her eyes at her friend but didn't banter. "So, coast is clear? No jealous wifey?"_

"_She left for out of town with some teachers. Come in, the kids are waiting for you." She said gesturing at the kids playing on the leaving room._

"_Aunt Lucy!" Elise shouted whilst running towards Quinn. Alex head perks up at the commotion and when he saw Quinn, his brown eyes lit up. He struggled to stand and walk towards the lady. "Kin!" He shouted._

"_Aww, look at you my princess all grown up!" Quinn said, looking at Elise who is looking at her with a bright smile and her big blue eyes conveying friendliness towards the other. _

_Quinn felt a slight tug on her dress and when she look at it, an innocent looking blonde boy was looking at her with a sheepish smile. "Oh! Hi there handsome!" She beamed at Alex. The little boy looked at Santana as if asking permission on what he's gonna do. Santana just nodded at the kid and in return Alex smiled brightly._

"_Kin! Up! Up!" He said whilst lifting his two arms to the air. Quinn picks him up and gives him a peck on his cheek making him giggle in delight._

"_So, how are you?" Quinn asked Santana, after setting the kid down._

"_I'm good. Not getting enough sleep but I'm good." Santana said. The moment Quinn entered, she noticed how tired Santana is. She's constantly rubbing her eyes and yawning every five minutes nonetheless._

"_Are you sure you're really okay? You look tired."_

"_I am." Santana muttered._

"_Have you been working all night?" Quinn said,_

"_Not really. I just can't sleep." She said. It is the truth anyways. Her mind had been plagued by the dream and she doesn't know what to do._

_Quinn walks towards her and grabs her hand. "Why don't you relax in your tub, and when you come out, there will be a tea ready for you. Okay?"_

"_But the kids—" Santana wanted to argue but Quinn shook her head and pointed upstairs._

"_They'll be fine. Now, Go!" She just obliged Quinn because she knew that arguing with her best friend right now is a lost battle. _

_She was enjoying a warm bath when Quinn knocked on the door._

"_Are you dead yet?" She asked, without even waiting for Santana to answer._

'_I wish.' Santana thought. "You wish Lucy!" She shouted._

_"I brought your tea and Santana...you really need to sleep." _

_Santana didn't answer because she knew that Quinn was just reminding her that she looks like shit and she needs to rest. After 10 minutes of staying in the tub, she decided to go out thinking that she might turn into a prune. _

'_It is a good thing that Quinn suggested that she relax a bit. I've been trying to find relaxation with what's happening... good thing she's here right now.' Santana thought. Ever since the dream and the painful way of knowing of her wife's infidelity, she lost all the fight in her system. It took her days to recover when she saw her children. She knew that she needed to fight and bring back the life in her not for her but for the kids._

_She opened the door revealing a blonde sitting at the edge of the bed. Not the blonde that betrayed her but the blonde companion that she called._

"_What are you doing here? Where are the kids?" She asked._

_"In their respective rooms, I already tucked then in since it took you forever to come out." Quinn answered sarcastically. "Come here and drink your tea, afterwards tell Auntie Quinny why you look you've been hit by a train…"_

_Santana walks towards Quinn and sits beside her. She rested her head on her best friend's shoulder. She promised herself during her alone time that she won't tell Quinn anything yet. She needs to think about it first. She knew Quinn more than anyone else, she knew that Quinn would totally unleash hell once she discovers the cruel things that her wife is doing. So, telling Quinn_ _that Brittany is cheating is not an option right now._

"_W-work had been demanding. They wants designsright away, and with Britt constantly extending her time at work.. I'm kinda doing everything alone." She said. It wasn't a lie, ever since the cheating started, Santana had pushed herself into working harder, getting double proposals every month just to let her mind wander away from the visual of her wife sucking someone's dick._

"_Oh poor you! You could have told me and I could have helped in taking care of the kids." Quinn said._

"_But you too are busy with your stuffs, being the lawyer you are." She argues. More than anything else, she wants Quinn to let the topic go because she hates the feeling of lying to her best friend._

"_But you do know that I will always have time for your precious little kids." She said with a hint of smile in her voice. Quinn leaned back and looked at Santana. Whatever it is that is running in her mind right now is something Santana can't distinguish. Then all of a sudden, Quinn pushed her on the bed. _

"_Why.. don't you… lie down and sleep. You badly needed that. The ideas will flow once again once you get your sleep." _

"_But.. the kids—"_

"_NO! I already told you that I will help you with the kids while their Mommy is somewhere and their Mami is resting." After tucking Santana in like a baby, Quinn walks towards the door, but before leaving she looks back at Santana, "you better be sleeping once I come back here…" She said and left the room._

_Santana decided to do what Quinn told her because who knows what her best friend can do to her if she didn't. She was in the middle of sleeping when the dream started._

* * *

'_Santana was holding her kids following Brittany in a narrow pathway._

_Santana was shouting but it seems like Brittany was not listening to her._

_She was able to grab her wife but when she look at the face of the one person she love the most, it was expressionless._

_Brittany's blue eyes show no interest._

_She hastily removed Santana's hand on her arms and walked as fast as she can._

_At the end of the pathway, Santana was a silhouette of a man._

"_Please! Please Brittany! Please baby! I love You! Please! Please don't leave me._

_No, no, NO! You love me._

_You still love me._

_What about the kids?_

_Brittany don't do this!_

_Baby don't do this.. I love you."'_

* * *

"_Brittany!" She woke up with tears on her eyes. This is the first time that she shouted her wife's name and it makes her heart hurt even more._

"_Santana!" Quinn barged in. It looked like she ran a million miles from the sound of her heavy breathing. She immediately sat beside Santana and hugged her tightly._

"_Honey, what is it?" She muttered. She was currently brushing Santana's hair to soothe her just like the way she used to do before._

_Santana didn't answer. _

_Quinn lets go of Santana for a while just to get her a glass of water. She comes back with Santana looking at the other side of the bed. In Quinn's perspective, it seems like she had already composed herself and she was just thinking about the dream._

"_You want to tell me what happened?" Quinn asked after giving the glass of water to her best friend._

_Santana just shook her head. Quinn let it go, she knew from experience that if she pushed her friend the more it would be harder for her to open up._

* * *

"Santana?" She heard a faint call from the doorway. She looked up to see her wife staring at her with her soft blue eyes. It seems like Brittany heard her crying from across the room. "Are you okay? Why are you crying?" She asked softly.

Santana woke up with her little girl snuggling in her chest. She fell asleep immediately after hearing the steady breathing of Elise. It's bad enough that it's the first time she was able to sleep peacefully only to be haunted by that dream again, but what made it worst, is that the very person she's avoiding to see in times of vulnerability is the one asking her if she is okay.

"Santana?" Britt asked her again. She just shook her head and looked away.

"Santana, you know I know better than that." Her wife said whilst tucking some hair in Santana's ear away from her beautiful face.

'_Bullshit'_ Santana thought..

"I thought so too." She muttered.

"What was that?" Brittany asked.

"Nothing. I just had a bad dream."

"About?" Brittany was shocked with the abrupt dismissal from her spouse, until now, she doesn't understand why her wife is being like this to her. Santana was being indifferent, cold-hearted to her and she doesn't have any idea why.

"About you leaving me for another person." Santana hurriedly stood up and walked away from the dumbfounded blonde.

* * *

**Lucy Quinn Fabray hello there! So she made an appearance via flashback but we'll see what her role be in the near future.**

**So any comments? violent reactions? anything?**

**and have you tried listening to the song? **


	3. Quinn and The Who

**I'm really, really, really, really, really sorry for not updating for like a month! I've been busy and I got sick for 2 weeks.. well, 1 week after I post chapter 2 and a whole week before this update.. also, I participated in a contest so I got really busy.. I'm really SORRY!**

**Guest – Hello! An update! At last! :D**

**anonythemouse**** – Hello! I am actually fangirling right now.. I mean, I read Washed Ashore in one go. I was really astound by your writing. Anyways, You Were Mine is really heartbreaking and the way Dixie Chicks sung it… just wow. The kids just love Quinn so much, but there will be no Quinntana.. maybe just friendship.. but that's just it. Also, Brittany has her reasons, it's just that the way Santana found out is really below the belt. I always wanted to do a story where Santana is the weaker one, or appeared to be the weaker. Everyone portray her as the high and almighty Santana Lopez, the one that is capable of hurting Brittany… and I want to make it the other way around.. and I secretly think that Brittany is the 'manipulative' on the show. :)**

**Nixxx – hello! An update! :) Brittana endgame? We'll see how the story progress.. until then, I can't say anything about endgames.**

**Guest2: Thank You for loving my story :D**

**Guest3: Yay! I update, too bad it's not Soon! I'm sorry!**

**Guest 4 (the one who said this is Quinntana fic) – Uhm.. I admit, Quinntana is my crackship. My icon is RIVERGRON (since spoiler said, that Naya initiated that scene hence Rivergron) In most parts, Brittany looks like she doesn't have a redeeming quality because it is after all a SANTANA POV, perfect BFF Quinn, because she's a BFF material for me to Santana (aside from Mike Chang). But I want you to know that, this is not Quinntana fic, I tagged this as Santana L. and Brittany P. because it is a Brittana fic… :D**

**Nivee – Yes, after listening to Dixie Chicks version, I realize that I like it more than Avril Lavigne's.. lol thank you for loving the chapter :)**

**Guest 5 – Sorry if this is late. But better late than never right? I hoped you waited :)**

**Msnicolalala – I'm really sorry for not updating fast enough.. 1 month? Who does that? tsk. Anyways, thank you for thinking that I am amazing, and thank you for loving my fic :D**

**Leilamiranda – Chill! Lol, but really… I'm not really a fast phasing fic, so I wouldn't do that to you :) and I agree, cheating is never okay…. I'm torn. This is brittana but cheating is not okay.. **

**Angsty Anne – I do hope that you still do a victory dance now that I updated.. lol I'm assuming obviously :D anyways, I love Quinn so she'll just stay there. **

**Mag99 – Yes, I'm continuing :)**

**Sharkweirdo – I honestly don't know how to make a "Happy Brittana Endgame" because I do not know how to write fluff.. I'm stupid like that.**

**Yibridge – ahhh.. your icon is my QUEEN! Yes, there will be some kind of explanation, but it's not about Santana's mental health :D**

**Lady Greyseal – I know, I know.. I hate flashback too.. but it had to be done, and I need to introduce Quinn :)**

**Guest6 – I'm glad that you are enjoying it :)**

**Pati1993 – ahhh.. hello there! The song is really great I agree with that. You are like one of my first reviewer here.. and I hope that you'll still be here continuing to follow :)**

**Zorayah – I am not too.. but Quinn needs to be introduce :D**

**Icherish – It's a plan. Y'all need to hate on Brittany because she's a bitch. Lol I'm kidding. She got dumbfounded because she really didn't expect the comment from Santana. But we'll have to wait for further stuff**

**TimeWarpReviewer – This is what happened next :D**

**82996 – Wait! I didn't exactly say whom she said the "I love you" part tho :) hey! I updated :D**

**Captureit – I'm sorry but there will be NO QUINNTANA ROMANCE. Just Friendship :) **

**Everyone: I hope you like this one! :) And again, I apologize for not updating fast enough.. and All mistakes are mine :)**

* * *

Santana can feel a small tugging on her shirt but she's too sleepy to even look at it. It was not until she heard an excited voice of a little girl.

"Mami! Wake up!"

She slowly opens her eyes and groans. She gets her phone on the bedside table to look at the time.

"6:15am" she muttered. She actually thinks it's too early for a Saturday morning. She wanted to go back to sleep but her little angel had been bugging her. She rolls to the other side only to meet blue eyes looking at her innocently.

'_Brittany.'_ She thought. Elise eyes definitely looked like her mom, only that she had her jet black hair. Her attitude is a mix between Santana's and Brittany's and this time, she's showing her Brittany side.

"What is it baby?" She asked.

"Mommy's here." She said innocently and a glimmer of smile adorned her eyes. Santana doesn't know what to say or react, so it is a good thing when Elise tugged her hand and asked her to join them for breakfast.

Entering the kitchen, she does not know what to expect. It has been a long time since her family stayed at home together, let alone eats breakfast. The kitchen was a mess. Flours scattered all over the floor and the smell of burnt bacon filled the kitchen. She found Brittany cradling Alex who is crying uncontrollably.

"Mami, I'm sorry." Elise said beside her. When she looked at the little girl, Elise was looking at her with teary eyes and a pout that she can't resist.

"What is it baby?"

"I help mommy prepare for you because she wants it to be special but I messed it up." She said to Santana with tears brimming her eyes.

"It's okay baby. I'll fix it, okay?" She replied whilst kissing her daughter on her forehead.

"Hey San." Brittany said timidly.

"You're here." Santana stated. "You're not going out today?" She asked nonchalantly.

If she was surprise earlier, she didn't let it show. She grew accustomed to Brittany always being away during the weekends. So, for her to stay here on a Saturday is something really unexpected.

"No, I have no plans whatsoever and I miss staying with the kids and you." Brittany said shyly. Santana found it peculiar for Brittany to be all flustered and shy when during those other times she was being ignored by her wife.

"I see." She said. "Have you guys eaten?"

"Not yet babe we were just waiting for you." Santana winced at the term of endearment her wife just used. It's been so long since she called her that and she can't understand now why her wife used that all of a sudden. Even with some deep thoughts penetrating her mind, she can't help but smile at the thought of Britt wanting to eat with them again. "and I'm sorry if you'll not like it. You know how I get confused sometimes." She followed.

"Yeah, sure." She just said. Santana wanted to go back to normal, but not until she forgets the thoughts that invaded her mind two months ago. She'll have a hard time dealing with the normal Britt, also a part of her still doubt that this Britt is really the Brittany she fell in love with 10 years ago.

They were eating silently when they heard the doorbell.

"Are you expecting anyone?" Santana asked.

Brittany shook her head telling no.

"Kin!" Alex exclaimed. Brittany looks at her son with a pained expression because earlier when he woke up, he called her 'Kin'. She felt like her kids knew Quinn more than her. On the other hand, Santana looks at him with wide eyes before giggling.

"Baby, Quinn is not here. She's in Paris doing who knows what." Santana said. Alex just stared at him and smile.

"Kin! Kin! Kin! Kin!" He shouted.

"Does Q always visit the kids?" Brittany asked.

"She's always here during Saturdays but since she's in Paris right now, she missed two weeks of babysitting Alex and Elise." Santana explained. She does not know why she's feeling guilty about something when she's not doing anything wrong at all. Maybe the look on her wife's face triggers the emotion.

The doorbell rang again and Santana stands up to get the door followd by a chanting Alex . She opened the door and revealed a blonde lady holding some paper bags in her hands. Before Santana can react, Alex beats her to it.

"Kin!" He exclaimed before running towards Quinn.

"Aww look at you, you've grown so much. And I miss you too." Quinn said putting down all the paper bags before booping the little boy's nose.

Brittany on the other hand was watching the whole scene unfold infront of her. They looked like a perfect family in her eyes and it pained her to see that other people makes her wife and kids happy. She knew that it is her fault that her family is slowly drifting away from her. She can't help but feel jealousy ran into her veins, IRS the same feeling she always harbor whenever she sees Santana interacts with Quinn. Her trance was broken when Elise came runing towards Quinn.

"Auntie Lucy" She said whilst engulfing the other blonde in a tight hug. Her small hands was able to grasp on her Aunty Lucy's waist.

"Quinn." Brittany greeted curtly.

"Brittany." She replied in the same manner.

It's not really a secret that Brittany had been jealous of Quinn. Ever since she had met Santana, she had thought that there was something going on with the two, that was until Santana pursued her and they became girlfriends. Nevertheless, it doesn't change the fact that she is still jealous of Quinn when it comes to Santana.

Quinn even stayed away from the couple before because of the green monster plaguing Brittany's mind. She was unstoppable with the name calling and didn't hide the burning jealousy coursing through her veins by being rude to Q. Santana used to be so amused with the actions of her wife, but now, she can't help but feel irritated with Brittany's actions. She thinks that Brittany doesn't have the right to be jealous at all since she is the one doing something behind Santana's back.

"I brought you some presents!" Quinn announced to the kids. This isn't to spite Brittany but she just wanted to stop whatever is this negative air revolving around them.

Santana didn't say anything and just helped Quinn with the paper bags the she brought.

"So when did you came back?" Brittany asked, remembering her wife's words earlier.

"it's been a week" Quinn replied.

"And you didn't even bother to call me? Lucy Quinn?!" Santana exclaimed.

"I'm sorry. I was just caught up with stuffs." She said whilst looking at Brittany with unreadable expression. Brittany, on the other hand, avoided Quinn's gaze and just stared on the floor. Santana didn't noticed any of this and that somewhat made Brittany breathe.

"So, how were the kids while I'm away?" Quinn asked curiously.

"Oh you don't have any idea. For two weeks, Elise had been asking me where her Aunty Lucy is And Alex hadn't stop muttering your name, even before he goes to sleep. The kids' missed you. But other than that, they are the perfect angels. My perfect little angels." Santana answered, whilst kissing Alex on the forehead affectionately. "What did you do in Paris anyways?"

"Aside from work, I visited Tina. She was busy with her fashion collection that will be released by summer. She had been asking me to cover it for her. And, that reminds me. I may need your prowess in computer with the graphics and design. The boss asked me to cover a convention on crafts about Digital Arts and I need a plus one. Can you?" She asked.

"When?"

"After two weeks. I'll send you the details about it. Are you busy?"

"I had been working on some designs for Hollywood, again. Two designs for Global Warming, and a client asked me to accompany her to a convention." Santana replied with a smirk.

"Oh my gosh Santana! Thank you very much!" Quinn muttered with much enthusiasm. She jumped and gave Santana a tight embrace.

"Hey Quinn, would you like some tea?" She asked curtly

"No thanks. So, how's teaching Britt?" Brittany was taken aback by the sudden question. Whenever Quinn is spending her time in their house, she is much more interested with Santana or the kids, so, it is a wonder why all of a sudden, Quinn seems to be curious about her.

"It was fun. The kids in the daycare are really a pain sometimes, but it's fun being with them. The High School students are much worst. They are hard-headed and some girls are really bitchy. Good thing Sam is there to help me with things."

Santana visibly flinch at mention of the name. Sam. Samuel Evans. The root of all her heartaches and heartbreaks.

* * *

**Tell me his name I want to know**

**The way he looks and where you go**

**I need to see his face, I need to understand**

**Why you and I came to an end**

**Tell me again I want to hear**

**Who broke my faith in all these years**

**Who lays with you at night while I'm here all alone**

**Remembering when I was your own**

_It was two weeks after the incident when she met the guy whom her wife was fooling around with. She wasn't supposed to meet him that day, but since her wife decided to bring her to a colleague's party. It was then when she saw him. _

_Santana was left in a corner with her wife mingling with her friends. She didn't belong here. She didn't really know the guy who held her wife's hand and steal her away from her wife. She just nod when Brittany told her that she's just meeting some of her colleagues with the blonde guy. He didn't really introduced himself to him that's why she never thought that the guy is the reason for her family's destruction._

_It wasn't until Brittany remembered that she was with her wife._

"_There you are. I've been looking for you." Brittany said._

"_I'm just here. You left me here, so I stayed." Santana replied._

"_I want you to meet someone. He is a dear friend. He helps me every time I get lost and whenever I experience trouble." She explained. "Sam!" She shouted._

_Eureka!_

_That is why Santana had been feeling anxious while Brittany was talking._

_And that's when she met him._

_He has blonde hair and blue eyes. Brittany and him looks like twins if you will disregard his big lips that leaves Santana wondering if he can swallow a kid. He was the guy that stole her wife from her grasp. Literally and figuratively. Santana stood there looking at him, fighting the tears that had been threatening to fall from her eyes. She's now meeting the person that is ruining her perfect relationship with her wife._

**Tell me the words I never said**

**Show me the tears you never shed**

**Give me the touch the one you promised to be mine**

**Or has it vanished for all time**

_Brittany could have slapped her in the face, but no. What is more painful is that, she literally crushed Santana's soul by introducing this man; this low life creature to her. Santana wanted nothing more but to runaway, curl herself into a ball, and just cry herself to sleep. She had been in denial for two weeks. And meeting him now makes everything real._

_This is the guy whom her wife shouted after they had incredible sex. This is the guy that Brittany had spend her late nights with. What does this guy have that she didn't? Is it his incredibility gigantic mouth? His blonde hair? Or his stupid impersonation of John F. Kennedy? Santana can do that. She can also impersonate, she can dye her hair too. She'll do everything just to make Brittany hers again._

**I close my eyes and dream of you and I and then I realize**

**There's more to love than only bitterness and lies I close my eyes**

**I'd give away my soul to hold you once again**

**And never let this promise end**

_The promise that they shared once is now tainted with infidelity. No matter how hard she wants to believe that things will be normal, she just can't. It was bad enough that she heard her them having sex on the phone. It could have been a nightmare for her. It could have been a visual from her vivid imagination, but No. The proof of her wife's infidelity is there, standing right infront of her. Mocking her, laughing at her ignorance. Brittany could have just shot her with a gun or stabbed her with a knife, maybe it'll be less painful. If only things are different. If only forgiving is easy._

_If only it could be done. But… it can never be done._

**I let you go, I let you fly**

**Why do I keep on asking why? I let you go**

**Now that I found a way to keep somehow**

**More than a broken vow**

* * *

Santana remembered the vivid memory and it's making her insane. The wheels in her mind kept on rolling. She is still looking for answers; she wants to know the truth, why settle for infidelity when they can talk about it. Like Santana and Brittany before the marriage, before the cheating. There are times that she can't help but ask herself what they lost. Like, what happened to them? Did she change? Sometimes, she thinks that it is all her fault. Maybe she got too boring and Brittany thought that she is a changed woman, that she is not the same person Brittany fell in love with before.

"Santana? Are you okay?" Quinn asked. She noticed that Santana zoned out at the mention of Brittany's work. Quinn thought that Santana was wary about something, but it has been a full 10 minutes and Santana is still yet to talk. She seemed jumpy when Q laid a hand on her shoulder and that made her more worried.

"I- I am." She just said.

"Babe, I got you some water. It seems like you need it. Are you okay? You look like you're going to be sick." Brittany commented.

She muttered a quick 'thank you' and that she was okay.

It wasn't until they heard the door bell.

Brittany opened it and revealed the blonde man that had been the cause of all these debacle and inner turmoil.

"Hi Britt! Are you ready?" He asked.

Santana willed herself to stand and intervene.

"You're going somewhere Britt?" She asked curiously.

"Uhm… No." Brittany said softly.

"Actually, we're about to go to an event. Didn't she told you?" Sam asked. He is being rude right now. He is showing Santana that he doesn't really need permission from her. Like he can take Brittany away just like he took Brittany's hand during the party.

"No." she replied.

"Santana, I'm not going anywhere. I will be staying here with you today, just like I promised the kids earlier." Brittany said. "You can go now Evans. I'm not really in the mood to go to that event. I'd rather stay here with my family." She said.

Sam just looked between them. His lips were tight and eyes were focused inwardly. He closed his eyes for a second before shaking his head a bit.

"I'll go now." He muttered defeatedly.

After closing the door, Brittany excused herself and went to the kitchen. She noticed the little smirk playing on Quinn's face.

"What?!" She asked. She doesn't really have time for Quinn's weird mind games.

"Since the other queen is here. Can we go out now? Please?" She pleaded.

"But.."

"You can go now San. I think, it's time for you to have a stress free Saturday." Brittany said.

"Ok."

Outside, Brittany looks like she is fine with everything, but inside she's feeling hell. She feels like Quinn is still trying to steal her wife away from her.

But… she knows better.

* * *

**Song used: Broken Vow by Josh Groban but I prefer Lara Fabian's version :D**

**And have you guys watched 2 Cellos ft Naya? the Super Massive Blackhole? HOW HOT WAS SHE?!**


	4. Truth among the Lies

**Hello everyone! I apologized for not updating this fic. As you all knew some stuffs came up. And I honestly lost my motivation in writing this fic. Anyway, I found some all because of the reviews that you had given me before.**

**I didn't edited this one. So, all mistakes are mine.**

**Glee is owned by a yellow hat.**

**I know some said something about wanting Santana to hook up with Quinn. I personally believe that in this kind of situation, Santana doesn't need a hook up just to feel that somebody loves her. Santana more than anything else needs a friend that will stay with her. NO QUINNTANA.. that's a promise.**

**and I don't hate Brittany. **

* * *

"Why didn't you push thru with the 'proposal' back then?" They were walking in the park silently when all of a sudden Quinn brought up the question.

* * *

_It was their anniversary when she decided to do it. Anniversary like, 15__th__ year of meeting each other and not the day they officially tie the knot. Brittany was the one who suggested that, aside from their real anniversary they should celebrate their first meeting because for her, it all started there. _

_Anyway Santana decided to plan for a "proposal." That two months from this day (their wedding anniversary) they will be travelling to Paris. Santana remembered that Brittany had always wanted to have a dinner date on Eiffel. So, she planned for a week vacation in Paris and from then she will be proposing to Brittany, _again. _It will be like a promise that on their 25__th__ anniversary—which is 20 years from now (They were friends for five years before they decided to be a couple and five years as partners before they decided to tie the knot.)—they will be getting married again. _

_It is like a fantasy dream for anyone who is in love, which is what Quinn thought when Santana told her the plan. She is actually mesmerized on how in love her friend with her wife and she is really happy for her. She helped preparing the plan. And to this day, everything was actually settled; from plane ticket to dinner reservation. So, now, the only thing missing is the wife._

_Santana reminded Brittany the dinner and as response Brittany said that she'll be home early, so to say that Santana was surprised that her wife was late was an understatement. It's already seven in the evening and Brittany is usually home by six o'clock. She waited for another hour, because that is how patient she is when it comes to Brittany. It's not until the clock hit eight-thirty that Brittany comes barging in._

_Santana was sprawled on the couch in a sleeping position that would result her body pain if she stayed all night. Maybe it was a good thing that Brittany had a glimpse of Santana and what she had prepared for them, resulting to wake the sleeping beauty on the couch. Brittany was all sweaty and looking tired when Santana saw her. 'I'm sorry' was the first line Brittany muttered and by the looks of it, she knows that she forgot something. Santana just nod at her and told her that they should eat since she cooked something special for them. Santana was about to walk away when Brittany held her hand._

"_Wait. Let me just take a shower so we can celebrate. Happy 15__th__ Meetingversary Babe." She said whilst presenting a bouquet of white tiger lilies. Santana's favourite._

"_You… You didn't forget?" Santana asked._

"_I wouldn't miss it for the world," She replied then proceeds to kiss her wife on the lips. Santana had a whiff of distinct male perfume on Brittany but since she's in a euphoric state—because Brittany remembered—she just brushed it off._

_After showering, Brittany immediately went towards that waiting latina._

"_babe, how you doing there?"_

_Santana was startled when she heard her lover's voice. She was thinking deeply about the plan that she didn't noticed her wife and when she look at her…she was mesmerized. Brittany is the epitome of beauty in Santana's eyes. She was having an intense staring contest with Brittany's body when she noticed that her wife wasn't wearing their band._

"_Babe?"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_Why aren't you wearing your ring?" She asked. Brittany seemed to be surprised when Santana pointed it out to her. _

"_Uh.. It's.." She stuttered. "It's in the bathroom. Let me get it."_

_Santana doesn't understand why she felt her heart constricted for a bit but she just shrug it off thinking that it's the first time she'd seen her wife not wearing their ring._

"_I'm back!" Her wife announced. "Where are the kids?"_

"_At Quinn's. She told me that she'll be watching them while both of us enjoy some steamy night. Her words." Santana replied coyly._

"_I bet you're thinking the same tho.." Brittany replied seductively. She slowly walked towards Santana, __and when was near enough to feel her wife's body heat… "I can't wait for you screaming my name tonight." She whispered before retracting herself to Santana. __Brittany held her gaze until it was almost unbearable, then demurely dropping her eyes for a moment and glanced back. Santana's mouth had dropped open slightly and she was watching Brittany with amazement. Brittany seductively ran her tongue across her top lip, all the time keeping eye contact with her wife. Then she smiled. The smile. Eyes narrowing slightly, she looked away and then back at her directly and raised her chin. 'I believe that we have a dinner yet to finish' My voice was breathily low. Brittany walked towards the dining area where the food was all set leaving a daze Santana in the receiving area. Santana then shook her head and walked towards her wife. Brittany was busy pouring some wine on their glasses, making Santana smirk._

"_You're going to pay for that later." She whispered to her wife's ears. She felt Brittany stiffen with her touch and swallowed loudly making Santana's smirk grow bigger. "Let's eat!" She said whilst sitting infront of a flushed Brittany. It makes Santana smile knowing that she still has the same effect on her wife. Little did she know, everything she planned will be lost in one night._

* * *

"Something came up." Santana replied vaguely.

"Tana. I know you. What is happening?" Quinn asked.

"Q.." Santana trailed off. She was just looking at Quinn hopelessly. She wanted to tell her everything but she doesn't know where to start. Her eyes are brimming with tears and all she can do was to look away.

"Honey, look at me. What's wrong?"

"I—I feel like our marriage is.. our marriage is.. is slowly falling apart." She said crying. Quinn didn't said anything, instead she held Santana's hand and walk towards the nearest bench. Quinn just sat there staring at Santana. Her friend's eyebrows were pinched together and an overwhelming sadness sat on her eyes. Tears build up threatening at the moment. And when Santana stare back at her, the tears that were on her eyes suddenly falls and sobs starts to escape.

"Santana.. calm down." Quinn doesn't know what to do. This is the first time in their whole goddamn friendship that she sees Santana like this. The once tough, courageous friend is now a mess. She is feeling some anger towards the person who destroyed her friend.

"Santana.. tell me what happened.. please. I want to help you." Santana looked away from her friend's penetrating eyes. She knows that her blonde friend will scold her for being so weak and for being stupid because she's being a masochist. Santana also knew that she can get out of this mess but she loves Brittany so much that she is willing to sacrifice her life and happiness.

"Santana what do you mean your marriage is falling apart? Santana talk to me." Quinn said.

"I—it was the… the night. Our anniversary. Remember that? She was late." Santana trailed off without looking at her friend. Quinn, on the other hand, just stared at her and encouraged her to go not minding that the brunette is not looking at her. "She's cheating on me Quinn." Santana said.

Quinn didn't say anything. She just sat there looking at her friend. Santana notices her friend's silence. And when she looked back, Quinn doesn't make eye contact. She was looking everywhere but Santana.

"You knew." She muttered.

Quinn heard, and that moment she decided to make eye contact with Santana. Her eyes were shot open, pupils shrinking. Her lips were tight and shaking; swear poured down her furrowed brows as she tries to composed herself. She opens her mouth and closes it again.

"You fucking knew and you didn't tell me." Santana said in a low voice. Quinn would have chosen that Santana shout on her. Instead, she met a Calm Santana, which is not a good sign because Calm Santana means a devastated Santana. If earlier her friend was broken, she is now crushed into million pieces. Quinn wants to punch herself on the face for not telling Santana but she did it on purpose. She wanted to clean it up before something bad will happen. But she guess, it's too late now. Her friend is devastated and she can't do anything to prevent it.

Santana on the other hand can't feel anything. She was hoping that her friend will be there for her and be with her on her fight but she was mistaken. She felt like someone she trusted all her life betrayed her. Her senses became numb and all she can feel is herself falling in a pit with needles ready to harm her.

"W—when?" She asked. Quinn was startled when Santana spoke.

"Two weeks ago."

"T—two weeks? B—but you're in Paris." She answered disbelievingly.

"I—" Quinn tilts her head and tries to compose herself before answering the latina. "I came back two weeks ago. I didn't tell you because I wanted to surprise you and the kids but something came up. The night I arrived, Vince asked me to go out on a dinner with him as a celebration for his birthday and my return." Vince is Quinn's boyfriend for three years.

Santana just nods and Quinn continue to tell her story.

"We were eating when Vince point out Brittany with fish lips guy. I told him that maybe that was her cousin since they were both blonde and he accepted it. But I have a nagging feeling that there is something different about them. They both seated a few tables away from me, Brittany didn't noticed us because she was busy being cute with the blonde home wrecker. They were seated directly where I can easily see them, so I know what they are doing are not friendly anymore." Quinn stopped talking and looks at Santana. Santana wasn't reacting, her gaze was faraway that others may think she is not listening, but on her eyes Quinn can see sadness dancing on each pools. She was taking in everything Quinn says and that makes the blonde's heart in pain.

"C—continue." She croacked.

"Before we went home, I asked Vince if he can wait for me in the car because I wanted to say hi to Brittany. I went to their table but didn't noticed me they were busy talking about something so I cleared my throat to get their attention. Brittany looks startled and Guppy face looks clueless. Brittany tried to talk to me, but I just told her to go to my house and talk to me. And last night, last night she went to my house. Actually, the whole two weeks that she comes home late in your house is my fault. She asked me—"

"Last night?" Santana asked. She firmly believed that Brittany had sex with that Evans guy last night that is she was home late. She didn't even tried to listen to Brittany when she was about to explain but maybe out of fear that Brittany will say something made her blocked all the feelings that she had that night about her wife getting home late. What she can't explain is the glow in her eyes last night, Brittany had this glow of something that resembles hope but she brushed it as after-sex glow.

"Yes, last night San. We were talking about how will she be able to fully stopped all this mess that she was doing. She was planning to tell you."

"Do you even know how I found out? Quinn…" Santana said helplessly "Quinn she was having phone sex with that guy after we had sex. After our stupid fucking meeting anniversary celebration. She was home late and I thought it was just because of work. But no. She was fucking him behind my back. I even saw her not wearing our bond, like she wanted to throw away everything that we had. I let it go Quinn. I let it go because she said she took it off while showering and she even gave me a bouquet of my favourite flowers. All of those were just to hide the fact that she did forget and she was willing to let me go, let my family go for her own libido. What hurts the more is that, she fucking said 'I love you.' And I don't even know if it was for me." She sobbed.

Santana wanted to be strong and stop crying because she had been doing that for the past two months but she can't help but sobbed. All of her pent up emotions were released. She was dying inside and nobody seems to notice it.

"Oh honey, but she's trying. She loves you… still in love with you."

"but Quinn why?! Why did she have to cheat on me? And why of all people, you Quinn hide it from me. I know it already for two months, but I needed a friend. I wanted to tell you but I can't."

Quinn perfectly understands what Santana was saying. For two months her friend was keeping all of the stuff to herself. She wanted to stay strong. People knew her as the strong one and she doesn't want anyone to see her falling into pieces. Quinn hates herself right now, for not noticing the difference between her old self and this wrecked self, she should have known. She knows Santana for so long and out of all things, she got lost with this. She also hates herself for not saying something. She let the whole two weeks pass without saying anything to Santana. It is true that she wanted to tell her but she Brittany asked her not to because she wants to personally tell her wife her infidelity.

"I want to go home." Santana said quietly. "I'm tired."

"Okay." She said lamely

"I want you to stay out of me for a while Q."

"Why?"

"I want to think."

"But you need me." She argues.

"No. Just for now Lucy. Please." Santana pleaded. Santana called Quinn 'Lucy' twice, first when she said she wanted to get married and this is the second one. And that's when she knew that Santana is serious about her request.

"Will you tell her?" She asked. Santana looks away before answering.

"If it is true that she is changing and she wanted to tell me. I'm going to wait for her to do so."

* * *

**any insight guys?**


	5. Paper and Confusion

**I'm waaaaayyy too distracted with Naya singing Valerie (acoustic) also I had been busy sooo I apologize for not updating soon! I was doing a fanart for Raineziek's "She is Handsome" have you guys read it? You should! :D**

**Also, those of you who are saying that Santana needs to leave Brittany… you will not like this chapter. But who knows guys… maybe we'll get there. :)**

**This is insanity. This story sucks but you guys are awesome! Thank you for taking your time leaving reviews. This is also a _FILLER_ chapter. I know guys, like _"how could she? She didn't updated and she's giving us a filler chapter? And it's sooo freaking short! What a bitch?!" _hahaha**

**Anyway you guys… estimated chapters left: _Four or Fiv_e.**

**Also, I am planning to write another fic… I hope that you guys will read it too.. if you guys just want.. And have you read my other fic? A one shot of angst. I don't even know why I'm writing angst. Anyways I've been rambling… someone needs to stop me or else nothing good will happen.. since when did something good happen when I'm rambling. I really need to stop.**

**Here you go! :) and Mistakes are mine. All of 'em! Tons of 'em.**

* * *

"Mami! Where are you?" Elise called.

"Office honey!" Santana shouted back.

Santana made it a ritual to clean her desk twice a month and it is obviously the time of the month for her to do so. She would usually let the stack of papers on her desk stay there for a couple of weeks thinking that she might use it again. She is a hoarder. It's funny how her old blanket from when she was a toddler is hidden in the lowest drawer of her table. She opened the drawer thinking that she might have put something there that she won't be needing anymore. She saw an unfamiliar brown envelop hidden under her blanket. She was about to reach for it when her daughter came barging in.

"What are you doing here mami?" She asked carefully, tilting her head for a bit like Brittany used to do when she is confused. Santana finds it really adorable especially when they both do the same.

"Just cleaning some stuffs. What do you want honey?"

"You told me that we'll be going to cake lady today." She said as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. Santana did promised her precious daughter that they will look for a cake for her fifth birthday celebration, which is a week from now.

" hmmn.. did I?" She asked putting her hands on her head as if thinking about it.

"yes mami!" She said whilst folding her arms in front of her… well, tried to fold it. She looks like a mini Santana that any minute will go all Lima heights on her mami. It makes Santana laugh and her child just stared at her with curious eyes.

"Okay baby, why don't you ask your mommy to change you and then well head outside ok?" The kid didn't answer instead she just run downstairs while shouting 'mommy.'

Santana chuckled whilst getting the unfamiliar envelop. She wasn't shocked when she saw what was inside.

'_the papers.'_ She thought.

It was the divorce papers that she and Quinn secretly processed. She didn't talked to Quinn for two weeks after the park incident, after all she said that she needed time and space, it wasn't after an incident that she decided she must do something, the one she needed to do a long time ago.

* * *

_It was a good thing that Brittany and the kids were on the other room when she went home after the talk with Quinn. She didn't want anyone to notice the red puffy eyes she had on. She thought that she needed to at least look strong whenever she have to face Brittany. There is no room for vulnerability._

_She decided to make her way in her office, hide there for a while and make herself presentable when she needed to face her wife. It didn't take her long to go outside and join her family. She did contemplated on talking to her wife and tell her that she knew everything. She was desperate to know everything. But the moment she stepped outside and see her family smiling brightly. She knew then and there that she can't do it. It will ruin the perfect family she ever had. It will ruin everything she longed for and the kids will hate her for it if they knew._

_She is however surprised about how she is reacting to this kind of thing. If it is not Brittany maybe she'll go and leave with the kids. But it's Brittany. The one she believed that is her soulmate, her one true love; the woman she made her vows to, that no matter what happened they would make it. Maybe the Santana that would go to the yelling place when she's in rage is already gone. Maybe she learned how to shut that emotion a long time ago. Ever since she met Brittany, she fell into a bottomless pit of rainbows and unicorns, and that there is no yelling place in that place. Or maybe, she's just repressing all the anger that she have. She knew what is important to her and she's willing to fight for it. _

_It was for another Wednesday night that Santana decided that she should stop being that masochistic martyr and fight for herself. Brittany went home late again and she knew that she wasn't with Quinn this time, because even if she's not talking to Q, her friend would left messages to saying that she will be going for an out of town and she'll be sending the details for the event that they will be attending. _

_Brittany reeked of alcohol and mumbling apologies to no one when Santana found her sprawled on the couch around midnight. Santana didn't say anything instead she just helped her wife and that's when she smelled a familiar smell of male perfume. She closed her eyes for a moment willing herself to calm her senses. She didn't want to lash on her wife and it might wake the kids. Santana lay her wife on their bed, removed her shoes and let her sleep._

"_I…I'm sorry. I.. wuv yoo S.." Brittany didn't had the chance to finish because she fell asleep soundly. Santana willed herself not cry and just went to her office and cry. She thought that maybe, maybe it's too late for her to salvage what is left for her relationship._

_Santana left a message to Quinn that she has to talk to her. She didn't know what to do. All she knows is that she still don't want to give up but she don't know if she can still fight. _

_It wasn't after a week when Quinn called her. She got caught up with work that she didn't had the chance to call Santana. Quinn was shocked when Santana said that she wants to file a divorce secretly and she asked if it is possible to make it less than a month. Quinn assured her that she will do all her best to give the papers immediately._

_True to her words, Quinn gave it after a month. _

"_Are you sure you want to do this?" Quinn asked her._

"_No. but I have to right?" Quinn stared at her with sympathy. She didn't want that, but her friend knowing that she is in a toxic relationship it is impossible not get pity from her._

_She went home that day holding the papers, ready to shove it in her wife's face but she was met with flowers and a dinner, with her kids smiling at her, and her wife smiling bashfully like she was the old Brittany that she met a long time ago. And she knew, she can't do it. She loved them too much._

"_Mami!"_

* * *

"Mami!" Santana was shook from her stupor when her daughter came to her office for the second time. Santana shook her head before shoving the papers back to the envelop and hide it in the drawer.

"_It's a good thing that I didn't use it."_ She thought.

* * *

**Comments?**

**I updated the cover too. What do you guys think about it?**

**Also, I have a tumblr it's called: _devilinred tumblr com_**

**A twitter: _loudestdork_**

**And a deviantart account: _limited08 deviantart com_**

**So, it's short.. what is next? I'll try to make the next one longer and it's might be more angst-ridden I guess. Enjoy your day guys! And thank you for reading! **


	6. It's Over

**I would like to thank all of you for reading and reading this story. Also to those who just added it to their favourites and follows thank you very much!**

**I was kinda busy, so I'm really sorry for a late update. **

**Filipino readers: Do you guys know the song "_Anong Nangyari Sa Ating Dalaw_a (What happened to the two of us)" by Aiza? I got some inspiration to that song. It's so depressing and I knew I needed that one.**

**I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone of you, like, you are expecting something from me but this story was already planned. Even from the start, I knew that the ride on this fic will be really depressing. also, if I ever insulted anyone from you because of this story I'm really sorry.**

**I've written this story because at first, I wanted to see some change. I wanted to see Santana to be shown as the weak one but at the same time, the stronger one because she still holds on. I wanted to show another depth to the character that is Santana. Some of us portrayed her to be the "lust-filled" latina. That she is the one capable of cheating because of her past but what we can't see is that, she only fell in love once… and **_**that love is strong**_**. **

**Also, I will be repeating this again, I don't hate Brittany. Her character in this story is something you're expecting to see or not. I'm not sure… but the Brittany in this story has layers. I think, that's all you have to know for now. You'll see those layers soon.**

**Mistakes are all mine.**

**So, without further ado, here's the chapter.**

* * *

All things are prepared and Santana thought that she has the best family a woman could ask. After she decided not to use the divorce papers, things fell into place. Brittany hasn't been going home late nor have random out of town travel with the "co-workers." Santana believed that her wife had change and giving her a second chance is the best thing that she ever did. She became happy again. They weren't back to normal though, since Santana still have doubts and it will be hard for it to go away. But what is more important to her right now is that, she is with her family, that despite the trials, they are still intact.

Her wife never told her anything, and she just kept quiet. She doesn't want to ruin this good start for all of them after all.

What Santana doesn't know is that the papers she shoved in her drawer; the papers that she was glad she never used and wished that will never appear, ever, will be resurface during the most important day for her little girl.

* * *

After choosing the cake and found a dress that will fit into her beautiful princess, Santana dropped Eli to their house and met with Quinn. They have this weekly ritual of talking to each other and be bored with each other's story.

"So how's the planning?" Quinn asked.

"Everything is fine. We just choose a Snow White theme cake. Well, technically it's Snow White because my baby girl chose Evil Queen figurine. I'm sure that kid loves Evil Queen more than the princesses." She exclaimed.

"Well, I wouldn't be surprise. You also have that fascination before. You have this theory that the Queen was always the Queen but Snow White just put the evil in it."

"Damn right! I think she got that from me. How peculiar that I, who everyone thinks is the reincarnation of the Queen falls in love with a Princess." She said dreamily.

"You are so cheesy and it's fucking nauseating."

"Did you just say the F word, Atty. Fabray?" Santana asked with fake bewilderment.

"I did. Your point?" She asked pointedly.

"nothing, nothing. So, how are you by the way? How's the fiancé?" She asked raising her perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"He's fine. Out of town again, he'll not be here on Eli's birthday."

"Such a busy man. So, what did you do then?"

"Reviewed some stuffs. Cases everywhere and never ending cases. Today sucks." She sighed.

"Even after seeing my sexy self?"

"It made it more horrifying." Quinn replied nonchalantly.

"How dare you! Anyway, you and I will be getting the cake. And you need to be in theme too."

"What?! I told only the kids will be dressing up?"

"No." Santana said with a straight face. Quinn got immediately anxious that is until Santana burst into laughter.

"Damn you Lopez!"

"Love you too Q!" She smiled at her.

Yeah, everything is fine.

* * *

The birthday celebration of Elise was great. Everyone is having fun. Until Santana noticed, that Brittany was missing. She thought that maybe she just went to take the loo but a minute passed and Brittany has not returned yet. She saw her daughter walking towards her. She was wearing this anxious look, as if she is afraid of something.

"baby, are you okay?"

"No."

"Why honey? What happened? Where is mommy?"

"She's with guy with big lips. They're… kissing. Mami.. mami are you okay?" Eli asked when she noticed that her mami stopped walking. Santana's blood runs cold.

'_How did this happen? What is happening?'_ Her thoughts are going over drive; she doesn't know where to start. All she knows is that she wants to kill someone, because the pain that she's feeling right now is impalpable. She wants to shout but she can't. That is until Quinn tapped her.

"What happened?"

"He-he is here."

"What?!"

"Get the kids upstairs. Tell everyone that the party is over." She said with finality.

"Where are you going?"

"Bloodbath" she just said and leave.

She found the two in a compromising position but Brittany seems to be struggling. All she wants to do was to kick him into his balls, but she knew she wouldn't. She changed after all. She will settle this in a calm manner. So calm, that even evil himself will shit on his pants.

"Both of you really don't have a shame in your body, I see." She started. Sam stopped what he was doing and Brittany run towards Santana, saying something about, it's not what it looks like. The old lines that are being used by everyone when they are busted about something malicious that they're doing.

Sam smirked at him when he saw her.

"Seen something you like?"

"oh, not really. I find it nauseating to see you banging someone else's wife." She replied. "What are you even doing here? Last time I checked, you weren't invited, fish lips."

"I am claiming something I should have claimed before."

"You lost something here?" Santana asked curiously. Even though her blood is boiling, she wouldn't let him get passed her defenses, at the end of this debacle… she will win.

"My girl. Brittany. You know, we promised each other about building a family together." He said cockily.

"Oh really? What do you know about family, Samuel Evans? Do you even know what a family is? And.. uhm… how many families have you ruined in the span of three years? Three? Four? Santana asked lowly. Sam was about to say something but Santana immediately interrupted him by raising her finger.

"Don't you think I haven't tracked you down already? I am friends with investigator Puckerman, which made me easily find your deepest darkest secrets. I know your roots, Evans. You are miserable and I pity you. You cling to married women in hope to ruin their family just like how your mom ruined yours. You are trying to punish blonde married women thinking that it'll give you satisfaction. But do you? Do you feel satisfaction running in your miserable self?"

"What do you know about it? You yourself belong to a broken family." Sam replied heatedly.

"I am. Or I was. I never had the perfect family, but unlike you, I am struggling to have a perfect one on my own. I don't ruin anybody's family or life just because I am miserable. I'm not like you Sam."

"You-you don't know anything about me Santana!" He stuttered. "Brittany will leave you and we will be happy." He said boastfully after getting his bearings back.

"Really? But who's ring she's wearing? Who's surname she's using, fish lips? The last time I checked it wasn't Evans." Santana replied tauntingly.

"But it's not you who she sleeps with every night. It's not you who she begs to go deeper, and it's not your name whom she shouts when she's reaching her peak. Mine Santana, MINE!" Sam shouted. He smirked when he saw that Santana's demeanor faltered a bit. He was able to tarnish the thick walls of Santana.

"Tana! It's not true!" Brittany shouted but Santana just held out a finger to her. It's a silent request for her to stay quiet.

It's true that the words used by Sam affected her, but she won't let it destroy her completely. She is Santana Lopez. She is more than that.

Santana closed her eyes for a bit, calming her nerves so that she can give him what he needed. She opened her eyes and stare directly to Sam's soul. He must've felt its intensity because he step back for a bit. Santana has this calm façade, so calm that even satan himself would be nervous. All of a sudden, she tilt her head and smirk.

"That's low even for you Evans, but then, you already stoop lower than that when you decided to dig your own grave by challenging me. Have you heard the phrase "Sex is not dating"? She started. "I bet you don't because you assumed that just because you are banging my wife, it already meant that she is head over heels in love with you and your trouty mouth. Maybe, maybe you stick that dick of yours to her core. Maybe you pound her 'til she drop. But at the end of the day, she still go home in this house. She is still wearing our wedding band and using my surname. You however left with the intense orgasm that would what stay for a couple of minutes or so? And a promise of love. You are pathetic if you think that you will get her. Because let's me tell you... you'll never be able to. You never even had her in the first place. Her heart does not belong to you. You are nothing but a scared little kid Evans."

Sam was about to launch himself and hit Santana but stopped when she talked again.

"Do that and I'll assure you that you will find your scrawny little ass in jail. Actually, I can call Puck and tell him that you are messing with a private party in my property. Do you know that you are under a restraining order? If you touch my family, you'll be spending your life in jail. They are waiting for you there, they were asking me if I want you to rot in jail just after you went barging here on a Saturday morning, but I didn't. I wanted to wait. Right now, I'm just holding myself back. I'm giving you a chance here white boy, either leave this house or be miserable in jail. Your choice. NOW!" Santana shouted the last words to emphasize her point. Sam, on the other hand, hurriedly went out and run for his life. This time, he realized that he messed with the wrong family.

The moment the door closed, Santana collapsed on the floor. Brittany went to comfort her but she just held her hand up. Brittany didn't listened, instead, she sat with Santana and engulf her in a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry! Santana, I'm so so Sorry" Santana kept on struggling but Brittany's grip on her is too strong.

"Get off me! Get…" Santana stopped moving violently and burst into tears. All of the pent up emotions that she had been hiding resurfaced. She could feel her heart shattered into pieces once again. Brittany kept on hugging her while she was crying. She can't fight anymore. She doesn't have the will to do so. It seems like all of the energy that she had earlier automatically evaporated from her body. Brittany just kept on rocking her back and forth.

"W-why?" She asked hoarsely. "Why did you do that Britt? We promised each other that we will love each other no matter what happened. You promised me Britt. You promised."

All Brittany can do was to muttered 'I love yous' and 'I'm sorrys' but Santana doesn't care anymore. She felt numb. Numb and hurt if that's even possible. She feels that her heart is constricting and she has a trouble in breathing. She doesn't understand anything anymore. Santana doesn't know how all of a sudden, the perfect marriage she had dreamt of, the best family she wished for disappeared right before her eyes. Santana doesn't understand if she did something, if it was all her fault that this is happening to them.

"I love you. I'm sorry." And that's when she heard it. It irked her to hear those words being muttered by the person she loves the most when she is already doubting the love that we shared for each other. She heard it loud and clear and it feels like all of her blood begin to boil, her anger re-emerge from her body. She abruptly stand up, which surprised Brittany.

"You can stay here. The kids and I will be staying with Quinn." She said coldly with her back turned from Brittany. "And tomorrow morning, you will receive the divorce papers."

"D-divorce?" Brittany choked. She put her hands on her mouth. Never in her life would have thought that this will be happening.

"You heard me."

"But.. you.. said.. earlier…" she stammered.

"Do you really think that I was defending you? That I still want you to stay? I've known what you were doing behind my back. I know that you were screwing that fish. I didn't say anything…because… because I was waiting for you to tell me. I should have known that you wouldn't. I love you all my life. I gave my life to you Britt. But why must you have to do this? Don't you care about the kids? You have a five and a two, and I do not know how will I be able to explain to them this. How can I tell them that their mommy stopped loving their mami?"

Brittany ran towards Santana and hugged her from behind.

"S-Santana, I never stopped loving you." She cried.

"Have you? But why would you do this to me, if you never stopped loving me? All those nights that I had been waiting for you, all I see is a tired woman, all I smell is a perfume of a man that haunts me every night. I even had nightmares because I can't take away the idea, that I've lost you. So, please Britt, please tell me why did you do that?"

Brittany stayed silent. She doesn't know how to begin. All she knows is that she had a big mistake for not telling her wife everything.

"I thought so." Santana sighed. "Just sign the papers and let me go." She said before removing Brittany's arms around her. "Please." And with that Santana walked away.

Santana knew that she can give the papers to her wife personally but she can't because she knew that if she will be the one to give it to her, she will crumble. And she can't let that happen. For now, she is choosing her happiness before her heart. She is choosing what she was supposed to do from the start. Letting the one she love go.

She went to the room of the kids where Quinn was staying with them. Quinn stared at her with pity, but she shook her head to tell her not to go there.

"Did they hear anything?" She asked.

"No. What happened?" Quinn asked. She almost chuckled because you cannot really stop Quinn from worrying.

"It's over." She replied. She sat beside Quinn and leaned on her shoulders as tears starts to fall again. Quinn just comforted Santana until she fell asleep due to exhaustion. She doesn't know what to do. She is torn about saying Santana what she really knew but then, it's not her story to tel. Quinn quietly leave and saw another depressing scene. Brittany sitting on the couch holding a broken frame of her and Santana's wedding picture.

Quinn sat beside her.

"Do.. do you know about the di.. papers?" Brittany asked.

"Yes. I couldn't say no." She replied.

"It's okay. You were being a friend to her. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't. I do not know how."

Brittany just nod and they settle in a comfortable silence, until Quinn decide to break it.

"Will you sign it?"

"No." she paused. "Never."

* * *

**This is really exhausting to write.**

**So what we learned? Quinn knew something that we don't. And Britt will not sign the papers. Ever.**

**And yes, I did throw a "Once Upon A Time" line there. I'm a big fan of Regina Mills.**

**To the guest who said about not throwing a fit on Brittany because you believe that looks can be deceiving… thank you for pointing that out. I do believe with two sides of the story. **

**So, what's next? A Brittany POV. I wouldn't even try to justify the cheating here because we all know that we can't justify cheating at all. I will merely tell you the Brittany side of the story.**

**Thank you everyone for reading this! Also, you might want to check on "You Put Your Arms Around Me" that's the title of my new story it's not angsty like this one. **


	7. Hourglass (Britt POV)

**The thing is… this is really short. I am not intending to make this chapter a bit longer for some reasons. All I know is that writing this chapter is really hard. This is a confusing chapter. I would know because I was confused as hell.**

**Anyways, I am deeply sorry for not updating. Aside from I already have a work. At last! I am a Graphic Artist in some random company.. haha.. Like what I've said this chapter is really hard to write. It's like I've been battling with it ever since I started writing it. This chapter will either make or break the story. I know.. it'll break the story. I find it really hard to write a Brittany POV because she's an enigma. You can't really see what's on her mind because she tells you what you want to hear from her. It's really hard to play in her mind because playing in there is like doing a jigsaw puzzle and the pieces are just all over the place.**

**I know that the writing of this story is not as good as the other people's fic. I'm not much of a writer really. But honestly, I just want to write to express myself. If I make people happy because of what I wrote then I totally call it a BONUS. So readers, thank you. Thank you for still reading this even if I'm a shitty writer.**

**Anyways, here we go. I wouldn't say enjoy because really(?)**

* * *

**Brittany POV**

She was breathing heavily and her eyes were defeated. It was the last picture of her that your mind captured before you watched her stormed towards the room where the kids were. You realized that the fight within her is gone. Suddenly, you feel dizzy and it feels like the world is moving fast around you. You decided to sit but before doing so, you accidentally hit the frame that was safely residing on your side table. You picked it up and a loud gasp escaped from you. It was a picture of you and her with the kids. It was in the park and a photographer nearby took a picture of your family without you knowing. Santana was holding Eli and you were blowing raspberry to Alex. It is a perfect picture of an unconventional yet contented family. The photographer decided to give you a copy for free when he showed it to you. He said that It's not every day he's able to see a happy family like yours. How ironic that in this moment you were thinking about the happiness that your family brought you, when in reality, it is gone… and it is all your fault.

You know that in your heart of hearts that it is totally your fault. It is your fault that you got attracted to him. Maybe because you thought he was different. It is bad enough that you even thought of falling out of love for that one person you swear you'll love forever. It's not that you feel unhappy; it's just that you felt like you were searching, and he was just there. You didn't actually fell in love with him, you just thought that it was a nice change but you forced yourself to stop it. You knew it was wrong. You love your wife and your kids so much. But he is like gravity, continuously pulling you towards him. It is like he cast a spell and all you did was to submit to what he wants. Maybe you were overwhelmed as well, you were searching for the colours that were missing in your marriage. In your eyes, it seems like the spark was gone, and he made you see that spark again. You got tired of the constant routine. Going home, finding your wife sleeping either on the sofa clutching a hoodie of yours or in her office stacked with papers and an open computer. You told him that, so, you both agree to spend some time together during the Saturdays. You told yourself that you needed some time away from everything. You also thought that he wanted to be just your friend. And you thought you were looking for a friend as well. Not until a drunken mistake at his house on a on a weekday. He kissed you and you kissed him back. One leads to another. Clothes were discarded and you found yourself in an utter bliss, and it's not until the next morning that you felt guilty and disgusted with yourself. You tried.. You tried your best to avoid him. He is persistent and you cannot escape him.

After that night, you started to avoid him. And you were infact doing a good job. You know you were doing a good job. Not until he cornered you after your last class. He asked you if why you were avoiding him. You didn't answer so he held your chin and forced you to look into his eyes. You were captivated by his eyes that you can't look away. It wasn't the same deep brown eyes that you promised never ending love with but this person.

This person makes something deep inside you flare.

You sighed and you said your piece. You said to him that what you did was wrong.

That you are married.

And you have kids that adore you.

After saying those words, you felt throwing up. For days, you didn't want to admit it but saying those words makes you want to puke. You are disgusted with yourself and saying those words seal the deal of what you've done. You are horrible and it makes you want to jump in a cliff.

Maybe.

Maybe if you did that, the guilt that you're feeling will also vanish into thin air.

You thought about Santana. The one and only person you swore you'll love forever. You know that it will rip her heart out and you won't be able to justify why you did it.

You wanted to blame her as well… for not having a time for both of you. But you know that you'll just be looking for a reason to take the blame on her. All she did was to love you and provide something for you and the kids. And the moment you were able to escape. You jump.

Funny how you were the one who was afraid that she'll cheat on you. Never in a million years you would think that you'll be the one to do it.

You feel guilty when you told Quinn that you were running away from him. That you didn't intend to lie to her but you knew that you won't be able to redeem yourself if she knew that you somehow thought you fell in love with him.

One of your biggest regret is that you had a phone sex with him after you had the most amazing sex with your wife and you did that. You yourself can't even justify what you just did. All you know is that he had a pull on you and you can't escape. You were so guilty that when he told you he loved you, you muttered I loved you back while looking to your wife. She is the one for you. The innocent and loving wife. But you can't justify the stupidity that you just did.

Now, staring at the ruins that you made, you do not know how will you ever bounce back. Will she accept you back? What will happen to the kids? And is she even serious about the divorce? Of course she's serious you stupid Brittany. You were talking to yourself, you wanted to laugh on how silly you're acting but you can't. You thought about the kids. They are too young to have a broken family. They weren't supposed to feel that way or even see how you ruined the family—the perfect family that everyone is envious of.

You wanted to talk to her, to your wife and tell her that everything is okay. That you didn't do it. If only you could mask the pain and hatred that you caused. As of the moment, all you wanted to do is to run in the room where your family is and apologized but it's never enough. You imagine the watery eyes of your wife—soon to be ex-wife—and you can't help but hate yourself for being so stupid. You know you love her, you love her but you just thought that it wasn't enough.

* * *

It all started when you felt like Santana was slowly drifting away from you. She became so busy with work to the point where you don't see each other. You do see her, in the bed you shared together sleeping peacefully with her eyeglasses still on her face. At first, you find it adorable… until later on, you felt lonely. It's like Santana was there but she's really not there at all. You only see a figure in your bed but you are not sure if that person is your wife.

During a weekend, she tries to give you everything, but you feel like it's not enough. That something was gone missing and you can't bring it back. Santana didn't noticed it, because if she did, she would've already talked to you about it.

On one moment, You and Santana were sitting on the sofa cuddling. Santana told you that she missed you. What you don't understand is that you felt nothing. Like the spark was gone.

You then thought that maybe..

Maybe you fell out of love with Santana.

You were so messed up. You can't even bring it to yourself to say to her those same words. You just feel nothing. You just sit there and nod. You felt Santana's eyes staring on your soul but you tried so hard to avoid it.

The next week, Sam was there.

* * *

It's crazy how you have a perfect family with loving kids.

But with a single mistake,

It's gone.

It felt like the hour glass got broken the moment, she saw you kissing Sam or Sam forcefully kissed you.

You wanted to make things okay.

But you do not know how to.

You told Quinn that you will do anything to make it back to normal.

You told Quinn that you wouldn't sign it.

But maybe, just maybe…

Signing it would make the hour glass work again.

* * *

**I just want to say something.**

**Quinn knew something that we don't. We were like Santana during those other times. So it's like, for us, Quinn knew something… but then again, in this chapter, you just learned that… Quinn doesn't really know anything at all.**


End file.
